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This was the original slogan. I understand advertising was much less
reliant on mountain bikes and above-the-navel tube tops in the 1800's
than it is now. This is the quintessential Coca-Cola slogan; it's short,
it's vaguely authoritarian, and it completely fails to actually give any
reasons why you should drink Coke. This is because you can't
actually convince anyone they need Coke. You either like the taste or
you don't, and it doesn't provide you with any benefits you can't get
from other places, like hummingbird feeders. Their ad campaigns are
instead based on making sure that everyone who would ever consider
drinking Coke never forgets for an instant that the option is available.
Anyhow, this at least is simple and to the point. A-
This was an offshoot of the unfortunate ad jingle turned folk song I was
forced to sing too many times in grade school. The song was, among other
things, about teaching the world to sing in perfect harmony, which is
pretty ironic because most of the people I've heard sing it were in no
position to be giving lessons. Don't get me wrong, I'm all in favor of
starry-eyed idealism, but not when it's being used to sell soda pop, and
especially not when it contains forced lines about snow-white
turtledoves. D
They missed out on a great chance for an ad here. Scene: the Garden of
Eden, circa 4004 BC. God (looking not unlike the Coke-swilling Santa
Claus of yore) forms Adam from the dust, humming mildly to himself as he
does so. When Adam's prone and lifeless form is complete, God dribbles a
couple drops of Coca-Cola onto his lips. Adam blinks, sits up, and sees
the Big Guy holding an icy-cold bottle of Coke. Being only recently made
of dust, he's parched, and reaches out to God in a pose strongly
reminiscent of the Sistine Chapel. "Coca-Cola Adds Life."
Boom, instant megahit. They could have followed up with a series of Old
Testament Coke ads, and eventually released The Bible, Revised
Caffeinated Edition. C+
At this point they've gone from authoritarian to positively Orwellian.
"Coke Is All There Is," the slogan seems to imply. "All
Is Coke. There Are No Other Forms of Refreshment. Drink Coke Or Die
Screaming." Armed, jackbooted Cola Enforcers roam the streets,
dragging off anyone caught with a can of Mountain Dew. Children in
school pledge allegiance to Coke. History books mentioning Pepsi are
burned in secret. Red flags with jaunty white ribbons running across
them snap sternly in the hot wind. "Coke. Do Not Attempt To
Escape." A
This was a result of the doomed New Coke fiasco. The Coca-Cola company,
whipped into shame by people who never protested when their ketchup or
paper towels were "improved," re-releases "Coca-Cola
Classic" with this lame slogan. The ominous pronouncements of past
campaigns are replaced with a wheedling humanist attempt to get people
to identify themselves with Coca-Cola. Before, Coke was above mere
humans; it was a force of history, a societal universal. Now it's a
touchy-feely hands-on Soft Drink of the People. "Coke Feels Your
Pain." D-
Now we're getting back into the familiar realms of overstatement. Coke
already trades on nostalgia to an alarming extent, especially come
Christmastide. This slogan, I think, is an attempt to pioneer the
powerful advertising concept of "pre-nostalgia." Teen cola
drinkers are too young to have misty memories of days gone by, but
Coca-Cola assures them that one day they'll miss their days of looking
forward to the time when they can look back fondly on their youthful
exuberance for their nostalgic future. And Coca-Cola will have been
there. B
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